Sword Song: The Isle of Destiny Series Read online

So much for sweet old woman, Sasha thought, almost snorting out a laugh. She wouldn’t wish Fiona on her worst enemy.

  “In that case, we’ll let you know what we find at the sundial tomorrow,” Declan said, and they all stood, shaking hands and hugging as they filed out.

  Fiona stopped Sasha at the door, baby Grace once more reaching up to touch her cheek.

  Trust.

  Sasha met Fiona’s eyes and Fiona only nodded once before turning away to coo to the baby.

  Chapter Forty-Three

  The farmhouse John directed them to was anything but the quaint farmhouse she had been expecting after seeing Fiona’s stone cottage. Sasha would describe this more as a spread. The main house itself was large, with several wings jutting off from the core, and there were a myriad of outbuildings and stables scattered through the hills. A few dogs ran up to the car as they drove up, wagging their tails in excitement at the visitors.

  “You’re fine to just go on in. Best of luck to you. Please call us for anything – and I do mean anything,” John said pointedly before rolling the window of his truck back up and honking lightly to nudge the dogs out of the way. Then he meandered his way back up the hill toward the cottage.

  “Real beds!” Bianca bounced in her seat.

  Sasha slanted her a look. “You slept on the ground for one night.”

  “One night too many. My neck hurts,” Bianca said, getting out to round the car and start carrying supplies in. In a matter of minutes they’d hauled everything inside the house, and began exploring, finding the guest wing fairly easily.

  “I like this one,” Sasha decided, tugging on her braid as she peeked into a pretty room with a large bed done up in navy and green plaid, with a dark wood headboard, and a wall of windows with a door that faced the stormy sea.

  “Works for me,” Declan said, and walked in to sling his bag on the bed.

  “Oh,” Sasha said, not having considered the fact that they might share a bed together.

  “Get used to it,” Declan said, walking over to put a finger under her chin. Lifting her face, he brushed a kiss over her mouth before heading down the hallway to check out the rest of the house.

  “How is it so easy for him?” Sasha grumbled, and pulled out her toiletries. Locating the attached bath, she treated herself to a warm steamy shower.

  It was so interesting to her how, days ago, Declan had been rejecting her and insisting that it would compromise the mission if he were to detour from the path he had set for himself. It was as if once he had accepted the inevitable, he was able to just slide into easy couple-mode with her.

  Sasha flinched at the word ‘couple.’ Nothing about being part of a couple brought good memories to her, though she knew it wasn’t fair to project her past feelings about relationships onto Declan.

  Different man. Different expectations.

  Sasha toweled off and made use of the lotion by the sink, which smelled faintly of vanilla, and braided her towel-dried hair back from her face. Forgoing makeup, as she had little use for the stuff anyway, she pulled on comfy leggings and an oversized plaid shirt before making her way down to where she could hear voices at the center of the house.

  “You showered!” Bianca accused her, standing by the kitchen table pouring a glass of wine.

  “Duh,” Sasha said.

  Bianca glowered at her. “That’s what I am going to go do right now. And I’m taking my glass of wine with me,” Bianca huffed, disappearing from the room. Seamus glanced at the door a few times before Maddox finally sighed.

  “Well? Go take your shower together, you two lovebirds. I’m sure we can manage putting frozen pizzas in the oven.” Seamus was gone from the room before Maddox was done speaking.

  “If there really was a goddess, she’d grant me a beautiful man as a gift for my servitude,” Maddox complained and Sasha went over to hug him.

  “You’ve had many a man, many a night, if I recall. You can get anyone you want.”

  “True, ’tis true. I’m just being bitchy,” Maddox laughed up at her.

  “So what are we thinking? Pizza out by that gorgeous fireplace I spotted in the living room? Maybe some sundial research? Plan of action?” Sasha asked, pouring herself a glass of the red wine.

  “Yes, to all of the above. The oven’s preheating and there are several varieties of pizza in the freezer. Shouldn’t be all that long before we have food. Why don’t you go out by the fire now?” Declan said.

  Sasha and Maddox both stood at once. “That room is too beautiful to ignore,” Maddox said as they walked down a hallway peppered with pictures of a smiling baby Grace, toward where a huge stone fireplace dominated a room full of windows that opened out to the water. It was just past twilight now, but Sasha imagined the view was world-class when the sun was shining.

  As promised, the fire was crackling cheerfully and firewood was stacked in the alcove next to the fireplace. Shelves of books lined the walls, and deep-seated couches and armchairs scattered around the room, all tossed with softly woven throws.

  “I could spend a week here reading and be happy as a clam,” Sasha decided, curling up in the corner of one of the couches and pulling a throw onto her lap. Just as she suspected, it was soft as a kitten’s fur.

  Maddox settled next to her, his eyes searching her face.

  “You doing okay, sugar? I’m worried about you,” Maddox said, glancing over his shoulder to make sure they were still alone.

  “I’m doing the best I can.” Sasha shrugged a shoulder. “It’s just been a lot. Especially the whole ‘having to examine every one of my personal insecurities’ part of this. I kind of feel like I’m walking around as an exposed nerve right now.”

  “When was the last time you let yourself feel all these feelings?” Maddox countered, and Sasha paused to think about it.

  “To be honest? I don’t know. I think I’ve been on autopilot for quite a while now. It’s been easier to run a business and focus on that than it has to delve too deeply into any personal stuff,” Sasha admitted, taking a sip of her wine and turning to look into the fire.

  “Ah, well. The universe has a way of forcing us to address things – even when we don’t think we are ready. But typically, we are.” Maddox nodded sagely.

  Sasha slanted him a look. “I’d say the universe has gone above and beyond in forcing me to address things in this particular situation,” Sasha said.

  Maddox laughed and patted her leg. “I always told you that you were special, sugar.”

  Chapter Forty-Four

  By the time they went to bed, Sasha was half-buzzed on wine and drowsy from the emotional rollercoaster of the past week. The evening had been fun, cozied up in front of the fire, eating pizza and tossing out theories on everything from sundials to the Sword of Light being like a lightsaber from Star Wars.

  Sasha chuckled as she slid into bed, still in her leggings and flannel. Declan stepped out of the bathroom, a towel slung low on his hips, his chest still damp from his shower, and Sasha forgot what she had been laughing about.

  “Something funny?”

  “Um,” Sasha said.

  Very articulate, she chided herself, and bit her lower lip as Declan put his arms above him on the doorframe and leaned just a little, his muscles rippling, making her mind fuzz around the edges and lust slide low and deep inside her.

  “Ah,” Declan said, reading her correctly and dropping the towel. Sasha gulped and buried herself further under the covers as Declan crawled onto the bed, caging her face in his hands as he took her under with his kiss.

  “It seems you have some walls up here,” Declan said, coming up from the kiss and tugging lightly at the blanket. She wondered briefly if he meant metaphorically, and then shivered as he stripped the blanket down and began unbuttoning her flannel. It did not take him long to storm the walls and soon after, Sasha gasped as he brought her over the cliff and into a bliss that she’d not known with any other man.

  “It seems you’re good at breaking past my walls,” Sas
ha admitted when they were curled together, her head on his chest, his hand lightly stroking her back.

  “I’m working on it. The physical is only one aspect of this though,” Declan said, his voice sleepy. “But I’m not going anywhere and I won’t give up until I’ve scaled the walls. I get why you’ve put them up. Nobody is judging you for it. I’m a patient man, and you’re worth fighting for.”

  Sasha blinked back the tears that had slipped into her eyes at his unexpected words. She opened her mouth to respond but realized that Declan’s breathing had changed, and he let out a soft snore, indicating he’d fallen asleep. She stayed there, curled to his warmth, and blinked back the flood of tears that threatened.

  Nobody had ever once promised to stay by her side.

  And goddess help her, she actually believed him.

  Chapter Forty-five

  Sasha blinked awake, uncertain whether a noise had woken her, knowing only that she’d heard a voice in her head telling her she must go.

  She must go now.

  Glancing over at Declan, still snoring lightly, she watched his breath and saw that he was in a very deep sleep. Sliding from beneath the covers, she bent to pick up her clothes and, padding naked from the room, walked down the hallway to the kitchen where she quickly put on her clothes and her boots, grabbed a cap to pull down over her braid, and found herself stumbling over the wet grass in but a few moments.

  She wasn’t sure what had compelled her from her sleep – but one thing she was absolutely certain of was that she needed to go to this sundial on her own.

  This was her burden to carry, and nobody else’s.

  The rain had abated, but the ground was soggy beneath Sasha’s feet as she trudged across the field, following the slope of the hill, instinctively knowing where she needed to go. The sun had yet to rise, and the predawn light lent an unearthly glow to her surroundings. She finally came upon a single small path, like one the saints had once walked in pilgrimage, which she too would follow to find the truth.

  The path led for a ways along a hill until it dipped low and out toward a large ledge that jutted out toward the sea. She was out of sight of the house now, and it was simply her, the sky above, and the sea below. In this moment, she would need to follow her gut instincts.

  Finding the circle of stones was easy enough, as they all but pulsed with energy for her. Sasha walked slowly up the path until she stood just outside the round circle of stones, the pillar in the middle seeming to glow even brighter than the other stones. Standing there, she allowed herself to just be, with no expectations other than to feel the pulse of the universe, the natural ebb and flow of the wind and the waves, and to try to connect to it deep within her soul.

  She wasn’t the least bit prepared for it when Aaron stepped from behind the pillar, the same snarky grin he’d always worn lighting his face as he ran his gaze over her.

  “Would it kill you to wear makeup once in a while?” Aaron asked, his legs braced wide, his arms crossed over his chest. He was as handsome as he’d ever been, with dark hair curling beneath a wool cap, and his flashing blue eyes were trained on hers. She watched him carefully to make sure she wasn’t losing her mind – or still in a dream.

  “Why in the world would I wear makeup when I am out for a morning hike?” Sasha asked, moving a bit to try to start circling the stones. Her hand, clutching the dagger, was concealed by the long loose arms of the oversized flannel shirt she still wore.

  “It wouldn’t kill you to try and make yourself look nicer. Maybe I wouldn’t have left you if you’d cleaned yourself up once in a while.” Aaron shook his head, letting out a derisive laugh as he moved closer to her.

  “I think I look just fine,” Sasha said evenly, keeping her eyes trained on him, though she couldn’t help feel the sting of his words.

  “And don’t get me started on your poor performance in bed. Ever hear of wearing lingerie once in a while?” Aaron shook his head and Sasha flashed to Declan, peeling the covers off of her earlier that night and unbuttoning her flannel. Despite herself, she felt shame creep in.

  The minute it did, Aaron leapt, grabbing her arm. In a flash they were transported from the circle, Sasha screaming at him to let her go.

  “Oh hush. Nobody can hear you anyway.” Aaron laughed, long and loud, as he held her from behind, one arm wrapped around her throat.

  “Where are we?” Sasha asked, then gasped once more as she realized they’d landed in her parents’ kitchen. It was like they were there, but nobody could see them.

  “Mom!” Sasha called, and Aaron laughed again.

  “They can’t actually hear you. We’re just here to have a quick listen. Now hush up.”

  He clamped his hand over her mouth, and Sasha had no choice but to listen.

  “Why is she always a problem? It’s constant drama with her,” her mother said to her father, who nodded in agreement, pointing a fork full of spaghetti across the table.

  “Right? I just wish things would go smoothly for once. If only she’d just gone to uni and met a nice boy and settled down, things would be fine. But it’s always something with her,” her father complained.

  “That’s why I’m your favorite, right?” Her sister, Chelsea, whom she hadn’t seen in years, laughed across the table at them.

  “Naturally. You’ve never given us issues. To this day, I still wish we’d never taken Sasha in. She’s caused us nothing but trouble and torment,” her mother said.

  Sasha felt the knife of pain twist low and deep in her gut. As she’d always known, her parents favored Chelsea and had never really wanted her. It had been confirmed for her several times on this journey, so it was best that she just learn to let things go in her head.

  “Speaking of Chelsea,” Aaron whispered in her ear, laughing as they left the room, somehow being transported elsewhere. Sasha felt herself gag against Aaron’s hand.

  They were in the bedroom of the apartment she had shared with Aaron, the framed picture of them smiling in front of the Eiffel Tower hanging over the bed. Except instead of her lying in bed with Aaron, as it should have been, it was her sister Chelsea. Sasha blinked back tears as Chelsea wound her arms around Aaron’s neck, leaning in to kiss and nuzzle him.

  When they began to touch each other more intimately, Sasha simply closed her eyes, refusing to look.

  “Don’t you see, Sasha? You’ve never been good enough,” Aaron laughed.

  Sasha felt the little sucking pull of them being whooshed away elsewhere, and this time she just kept her eyes closed, her entire body vibrating with anger, shame clinging to her like a silky second skin as she waited for whatever was next.

  Hearing Declan’s voice was not what she expected.

  Her eyes popped open despite herself, and this time the tears ran down her cheeks as she watched Declan laugh with his arm around a smiling blonde-haired woman. They sat outside at a little oratorio, enjoying a bottle of wine. Declan leaned over to brush a kiss over the woman’s lips, the same way he had done to her earlier that night, and the blonde twinkled up at him.

  “See? Even he lies. When will you understand, Sasha? You’ll never be good enough. Stop wishing for more,” Aaron said, once again whisking them away until they stood inside her very own gallery, though things had changed.

  And then she saw herself.

  She’d changed. Grey shot through her hair, and her shoulders had slumped slightly. She stood speaking harshly with a customer before the customer stormed out. Striding across the room, the older version of her slammed the door and locked it, her face set in hard lines as she walked back to her desk and slammed a book down on it. Dropping into her chair, she crossed her arms and stared at the wall, her face a mask of rage.

  No, Sasha thought. I don’t want that to be me. I will never be that bitter or closed off.

  Or alone.

  There but for the grace of God go I.

  In seconds, Aaron brought her back to the circle, dancing around her in laughter as the tears ran in rivulets down
her face, her entire body shaking with shame and anger, her every sadness exposed.

  She lifted her head.

  Chapter Forty-six

  Trust.

  Baby Grace had thrust that word deep into her head, along with the word love. Trust love. Sasha now knew what she meant. As she watched Aaron dance in glee at her sadness, she allowed trust to fill her heart.

  She allowed love to flow into all the aching crevices of her body until it filled her about to bursting.

  Her parents loved her. She knew that – even though things had not always been perfect. But no family was perfect, and they’d done the best they could with a difficult and awkward child who was not entirely of this realm.

  Her sister was just fine, happy in her marriage with her two babies – there was no way she’d ever look twice at Aaron.

  And as for Declan – well, he’d protected her for his entire life. He’d promised her he’d keep standing by her side, would break through her walls, and was always going to be there for her. His destiny, he’d said. And her gut told her it was so.

  As did her heart.

  No, she wouldn’t grow old and bitter and shut out the love that was given to her. She had wonderful friends, a nice family, and an amazing man who wanted to stand with her for her lifetime.

  Trust.

  And so Sasha met Aaron’s eyes dead on.

  He stopped dancing, cocking his head in confusion at her.

  Sasha stepped into the circle, walking forward until she stood at the pillar. Silence fell around them, and she could no longer even hear the waves crashing or the call of the gull as it swooped over the water.

  “I forgive you,” Sasha said, looking into Aaron’s eyes as his mouth fell open.

  The sword materialized instantly in the pillar before her, just as the sun broke the horizon, its rays lancing across the water to highlight the stone.

  Without a second’s thought, Sasha pulled the sword from the stone and plunged it through Aaron’s heart.

  She knew it wasn’t really Aaron she was killing, but her own self-doubts. And as the Domnua that had masqueraded as Aaron melted in a silvery puddle to the earth below them, so too did her insecurities, and Sasha stepped into her own power.